Excess of Everything is Bad
You got to be kidding me, I just figured out why excess of everything is bad, being sensitive is good, but being too much is self destructive. I am referring to the incident which took place couple of days ago about we move on post... between me and my ex girl friend.
We were just talking normal stuff, and she was telling about after marriage plans with this guy and was seeking advice. I think i did a pretty good job. Until her friend a Palestinian American started talking as well. The reason she got into this was because my ex did not have a Mic, and was talking over the speakers.
At the beginning her friend was just talking about general stuff, like how is life in Saudi Arabia , compared to other countries etc what impacts it has on your religion priorities. Then somewhere down the line we started talking about our relationship, so she started probing it and i kept talking. I was just telling her what i had in mind without considering my ex is listening to it as well. I was merely being honest telling what went wrong and why it didn’t work. Now my ex knew all about this, but i never really said all too frankly, i always had regard for her feeling, and didn’t want to hurt her. On this occasion, i was quite open. During this whole conversation my mood began take a swing, and i started feeling anxious, at the end my ex was not present there she went to rest room and I heard how she said she doesn’t care.
She does not, but what really had happened I kind of humiliated her in front of her friend. She did not want her friends to discuss or know about it. I mean people are not very comfortable about sharing their deep emotions with everyone. Due to all this I got really upset. I was at ease after talking to my best friend, but next day i again started feeling down. Because I couldn’t possibly ignore the fact that some one has been hurt due to my negligence. They say people who hurt you are the one you can put back at peace, but from my experience i knew it’s not a good idea to speak to her when she is not in a good mood. It use to be just waste of time and energy. So i didn’t speak to her either. Then i spoke to a very dear friend who agreed to talk to me despite the fact she was getting ready to sleep. She was totally unaware about this situation though. I did write her an e-mail expressing my state of mind during this whole time.
During my discussion with my best buddy, we reached a conclusion that once two people are emotionally attached at the level like me and my ex were attached it’s almost impossible to be friend with them. It’s your presence which acts as an obstacle and slowdowns the process of moving on for either one of you. Even we have moved on the memories are still going to be there. So we decided that I need to get out of her life, and that sounded like the appropriate way to avoid from such event taking place in the future i.e. where I may be in a position to hurt her by simply stating the facts from the past, and consequently getting upset my self. Therefore it’s not benefitting any one. So that’s what i did. I finally thought it will be over now and everything will be in peace from this moment forward.
But there is yet another twist, i got a call from her this afternoon, asking why i have removed her from my friend’s on face book and messengers, so I stated her the same problem which i mentioned above, then she asked me, if i truly think that she still got any feeling for me, and i said yes i think so, she denied it, so i went on asking her why would she get upset then, and she was surprised by knowing that i figured it out myself, Huh !!. she went on explaining and asked during past few months how often she has brought this whole break-up stuff, and she was right, she didn’t it just happened because of her friend. Anyways she asked me to add her back, but i am sure i am not going to do that, even though she assured me things have changed, they may have, but i am expecting such events to keep occurring every now and then in the future, and no one is going to get any benefit out of it. I was sad, because it’s a great loss to lose a friend.
Moral of the story, Too much of everything is bad, Mayana Ravi Ikhtaar Kero .
We were just talking normal stuff, and she was telling about after marriage plans with this guy and was seeking advice. I think i did a pretty good job. Until her friend a Palestinian American started talking as well. The reason she got into this was because my ex did not have a Mic, and was talking over the speakers.
At the beginning her friend was just talking about general stuff, like how is life in Saudi Arabia , compared to other countries etc what impacts it has on your religion priorities. Then somewhere down the line we started talking about our relationship, so she started probing it and i kept talking. I was just telling her what i had in mind without considering my ex is listening to it as well. I was merely being honest telling what went wrong and why it didn’t work. Now my ex knew all about this, but i never really said all too frankly, i always had regard for her feeling, and didn’t want to hurt her. On this occasion, i was quite open. During this whole conversation my mood began take a swing, and i started feeling anxious, at the end my ex was not present there she went to rest room and I heard how she said she doesn’t care.
She does not, but what really had happened I kind of humiliated her in front of her friend. She did not want her friends to discuss or know about it. I mean people are not very comfortable about sharing their deep emotions with everyone. Due to all this I got really upset. I was at ease after talking to my best friend, but next day i again started feeling down. Because I couldn’t possibly ignore the fact that some one has been hurt due to my negligence. They say people who hurt you are the one you can put back at peace, but from my experience i knew it’s not a good idea to speak to her when she is not in a good mood. It use to be just waste of time and energy. So i didn’t speak to her either. Then i spoke to a very dear friend who agreed to talk to me despite the fact she was getting ready to sleep. She was totally unaware about this situation though. I did write her an e-mail expressing my state of mind during this whole time.
During my discussion with my best buddy, we reached a conclusion that once two people are emotionally attached at the level like me and my ex were attached it’s almost impossible to be friend with them. It’s your presence which acts as an obstacle and slowdowns the process of moving on for either one of you. Even we have moved on the memories are still going to be there. So we decided that I need to get out of her life, and that sounded like the appropriate way to avoid from such event taking place in the future i.e. where I may be in a position to hurt her by simply stating the facts from the past, and consequently getting upset my self. Therefore it’s not benefitting any one. So that’s what i did. I finally thought it will be over now and everything will be in peace from this moment forward.
But there is yet another twist, i got a call from her this afternoon, asking why i have removed her from my friend’s on face book and messengers, so I stated her the same problem which i mentioned above, then she asked me, if i truly think that she still got any feeling for me, and i said yes i think so, she denied it, so i went on asking her why would she get upset then, and she was surprised by knowing that i figured it out myself, Huh !!. she went on explaining and asked during past few months how often she has brought this whole break-up stuff, and she was right, she didn’t it just happened because of her friend. Anyways she asked me to add her back, but i am sure i am not going to do that, even though she assured me things have changed, they may have, but i am expecting such events to keep occurring every now and then in the future, and no one is going to get any benefit out of it. I was sad, because it’s a great loss to lose a friend.
Moral of the story, Too much of everything is bad, Mayana Ravi Ikhtaar Kero .
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